I Am Donald

You can read it HERE.

Comedian, actor, and writer Donald Glover stumbled upon Xtranormal at the end of 2008 as it was running through comedy circles both on the east and west coast. We asked him a few questions about Howard & Leslie.

Glover is one of the Emmy-award winning writers of NBC’s 30 Rock. He is a member ofDerrick Comedy, who are currently promoting their feature film Mystery Team.

Howard & Leslie is very funny, but equally disturbing. What inspired such twisted tales?

DG: Some of the comedians around me were making cartoons on your site and I saw the cute little puppy things. But with the voices I thought it was really funny how monotone they were. They kinda lended themselves to being dark. I honestly made the first one during lunch at work. It really came from nowhere. It’s kinda interesting how people are so freaked out by it. I honestly think it’s because the characters are so cute.

You went through a long patch without new episodes. Running out of steam? Writer’s block? Are you going to keep it up? Your fans are screaming for more…

DG: I honestly have a ton of ideas, it’s really just finding the time. 30 Rock is a full time job, and then there’s DERRICK, then there’s the movie, then there’s stand up, then there’s my own writing. I promise I will do more! It’s really fun. I also wanna try to clean up the site, but all these things take time….(sigh)….

What do you like most about using Xtranormal to make Howard & Leslie?

DG: I like how I can do it anywhere I have my laptop. It’s mobile. I don’t have to call any of my buddies to do anything. It relies only on me. (I may have control issues)

If it weren’t for Xtranormal, would H&L ever have happened?

DG: Of course not! I love animation, but I’m not an animator. Xtranormal made it a crime to NOT be making cartoons.

If you could get one more feature from the Xtranormal dev team, what would it be?

DG: Create a character. I’ve been wanting to meet Leslie’s family for a long time.

These guys are The Fly Girlz. (Check out the track “Fly Girlz”. My fav.)

Someone has a time machine and went back to my 4th grade P.E. class at Rockbridge Elementary and offered the girls who sat on the bleachers (making lists of the boys they wouldn’t kiss…I was number four) a record deal.  

They were right to do this.  This is so tight.  Little girl rappers over techno beats.

The best part about this is that it probably started out as an after school project to keep kids away from  mal-activities.   But now they’re probably will become a hit with hipsters and be surrounded by the same nonsense. 

“Excuse me, this is crazy but….I’m looking for like a metallic version of Missy Elliot in the “I Can’t Stand the Rain” video type thingy.  I was told you guys make crazy things here.”

I know I’ll look like a queef sporting Reynolds Wrap…

…but I still want it. 

Saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie at the Tribeca Drive-In last night.  It was sick, as expected. 

But here are some things me and my friends noticed must be hard for the turtles to deal with:

1. They all obviously have feelings for April O’Neal, but she ends up with Casey Jones at the end.  This can only be due to the fact that the turtles don’t have genitals.  If Rapheal had a dick, there would’ve been the illest sex scene right after Raph saves April from the Foot Clan in the subway.  The best you can hope for with a turtle is awkward scissoring (the fingering must be dope because they have three fat fingers, but still…) and that’s not enough for most people.  Even if they did have penises, turtles have bones in their penises and it’s extremely painful for females to have intercourse with them.

2. They eat pizza constantly.  Turtles aren’t supposed to eat cheese and bread.  Their dumps can’t be anything less then large horrific masses of undigested cheese and meat.  The constant diarrhea must leave them dehydrated and sickly when they’re not battling. 

3. They’re gonna live a long ass time.  Turtles live an average of 100 years.  Everyone they know will probably die way before them, especially Splinter.  The longest living rat was 7 years old.  Splinter looks to be on his last leg already…

Poor turtles…

“Fuck the concert, man!  How often do you get to play paintball with your true friends?”

(On the phone) “What?! Drake was in a horrible tongue accident and can’t rap? (puts receiver down) Donald!  Do you have any lyrically unique and playful versus where you reference brightly colored hooded sweatshirts?

“Dammit! I keep tripping over all these brand new Air Yeezys I have thrown around the floor!  Donald, you want them?  Cause I was just going to fill them with money and mail them to you anyway.”

“Howard and Leslie is my SHHIIITTT!”

“What do you think of this verse I wrote for the Mystery Team Original Motion Picture Soundtrack?…is it…good?

“Fuck the concert, man! How often do you get to play Street Fighter IV with your true friends.”  

THEY GLOW IN THE DARK, SON!!!

Now,  when you walk into your  The Cool Kids or Santigold concert,  you can get all the ladies saying “who is this fuckin dope dude who dresses like my kid sister?”